Zannie – Vulva Interview

1. Okay, so how do you feel about being a woman?

Overall okay. I mean I do enjoy being a woman especially getting the attention of the opposite gender, but of course at the same time also the frustration of getting the attention you do not want and I think in a workplace sometimes it can be a bit frustrating because people still view women as like, maybe slightly, not as much as we would like to talk about equality, but sometimes you still do face the inequality part where we’re in a workplace and when you are trying to say () certain things and then people do look at you and say hey, what can you women do. But overall, I think I still enjoy being a woman, but whether you ask me whether I want to come back again as a woman, that one, I really do not know.

2. How do you feel about your vulva, vagina, and genitals growing up?

Honestly, I think being an Asian it wasn’t something that I really thought about. Interestingly also when I was married, first married, I also wasn’t just, it wasn’t something that I was very very aware of, okay, so that’s okay I’ve got a vagina and probably that’s how you have sex and all that kind of thing and that’s about it. I realized probably only when I was in one of my relationships after my marriage then I was maybe with age as well, getting a bit less inhibited to explore and all that, so I think it was only that I would say maybe in my early 40’s that I realized that yeah, it’s not just another body part, it can be something that can give you much pleasure and pain at the same time. Yup, so I think it was only much later in life that I discovered the wonders of that female part.

3. What is your relationship with your vulva, vagina, and genitals now?

Okay, I will say that I’m more, I’m much more like I say aware of the pleasure you can get from there.

And so therefore I think because of that I’m a bit more cautious and a bit more careful in terms of taking care and making sure that it’s healthy and like you know that it is nicely taken care of like what can be seen, a lot of us tend to feel that the face is the most important part of our body, but I think that is important, but I think all parts of our body is so important, and I think the vulva or the vagina is also equally important, yeah.

4. That’s great. What role does your genital, vulva, vagina play in your sexuality?

What does it play? Okay, I do enjoy my partner going out, okay? And I, but then yet at the same time it can get a little bit, that’s where the pain comes in if the person is a little bit too rough, and so you have to tell the person, hey, like go easy, it’s that they’re are like pain points there you know, just like don’t go at it and thinking that it’s just a piece of meat, you know?

So, I will say that it does contribute towards the overall pleasure in the sexual act for me.

5.  Yeah, good. Okay, what do you wish you learned about your sexuality growing up?

I would say that during my schooling years I don’t recall whether we have sex education. Okay, so I guess I really, really learned about sexuality only when I got when I was like much older dating and all that kind of thing. Even my first few relationships, I was like more like the Asian girl, like okay, let’s hold a hand, maybe kiss a bit, that’s about it. Only I think when I was really dating my ex-husband that we got a little bit more adventurous, although I’ve got a bit more adventurous and explore, really explore sexuality and all that kind of thing.

So, I would think that what I wish I’ve learned, I wish that somebody would have told me a little bit more about it, that it’s nothing taboo about what we have, because I think it’s an Asian what I remember growing up as people were saying oh no, the vagina is something you don’t talk about it, because it’s a very private thing and so on and so forth. But as I grow up like I say you know as you grow older you realize that yeah, it’s not something that you flaunt in public, but neither is it something that you should be ashamed of, yeah.

6. What would you like to say to other women about sexuality?

I would say that embrace what is given to you. Alright, I mean like I say there’s nothing shameful about it and all that. Yes, I know some women are more sexually active and some are less or maybe even zero, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I mean if you have no partner there’s always things that you can like do yourself and enjoy the pleasure. I mean if you have a partner then yeah, you can always tell your partner what you’re enjoying.

I mean like, it’s like I say when I was, even when I was married I wasn’t that kind of wife that will tell my ex-husband of what I would like him to do and so on and so forth, but I say I think it was only after the marriage and with my other partner perhaps they’re not Asian, okay, they’re not local, I won’t say Asian, perhaps they are not local therefore they are more open and they actually ask it, oh do you enjoy what I’m doing, so I’m like, so the first few encounters were like what? But after a while you realize that hey, it is something that you know when the guy really wants to let you enjoy yourself, they would ask.

So, I guess you know what I’d like to share with other women that do not be afraid, I mean if you are really with somebody or with a sexual partner be honest and just tell him that what you enjoy. I mean over the years he doing it correctly or is he just getting all wrong because at the end of the day it shouldn’t be just an act. It should be something that you enjoy yourself.

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