1. So, how do you feel about being a woman?
I feel grateful, I feel honored and I think it’s such a special role. So yeah, I’m definitely grateful, honored and special.
2. What do you feel about your vulva, vagina, genitals growing up?
I think I always had a curious approach, so I always had a curiosity about it from a very young age. Maybe because like myself with my daughter , my mother would also not have clothes on from time to time and so seeing the female body was fascinating. I was just saying that earlier, so seeing her then and seeing mine and seeing how it has changed over the years, I think I was very much aware of that. So, growing up I think I was very curious about it and I think I have always had a, yeah, it’s curiosity and I was very comfortable with it and I think that’s such a special relationship to have, to be comfortable on my own skin and with my own sexual organs which not many people have that privilege to have and so I think for me I was always very comfortable, so that’s why I think I was naturally curious about it from right early on.
3. And how do you feel about your vulva, vagina genitals now?
I feel even more comfortable with it, more than ever. In a sense, I think that childbirth has definitely made a shift in my perception towards them. My childbirth experience welcoming my daughter into the world was empowering. So I think after that experience, seeing how it has the ability to transition and welcome a human being into the world is simply incredible.
4. What role do you think your vulva, vaginal, genitals play in your sexuality?
I think sex for me has changed progressively over the years. I don’t think that it has changed in a bad way. It’s been 14 months since having my baby and subjectively it is a long time and it’s now more challenging during sex to either achieve an orgasm or to find that space to be as intimate with my husband in comparison to before. Obviously now there’s a baby around, there’s all these things that need to be done, but the feelings I think associated with it are not so different, but I think it’s more of the physical challenges in achieving certain intimacy or an orgasm. That has changed. I guess that’s just attributed to the physiological and hormone aspects from giving birth and recovering.
It’s really fascinating and I think I have a really awesome loving husband who never fails to remind me of how beautiful my body parts are. Because to him I have not change in terms of my physical look and all that but perhaps in my approach to intimacy nowadays has bit shifted. But for sure I think he never fails to remind me that my body is beautiful and that my vagina is beautiful and that he’s like I don’t need a photo for it, I see it all the time! and not in a crude way but really in a like respectful way. So, I think that’s been a great thing to have in my life. We’ve been together for 15 years, so to hear that on a constant basis, I don’t know if that’s not normal, but it’s been normal to me.
6. What role does your vulva, vagina, genitals play in your sexuality? I think you have.
I think so in a way.
7. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up?
So coming from my background and the person I was..so I’m an addict and an alcoholic in recovery and a big part of that involved a lot of manipulation on my part when I discovered sexuality growing up. Manipulation and Control is a big character defect of mine which I’ve learnt in my recovery program of addiction. So I think realizing that sexuality can be used to manipulate or used to false empower myself was a big part of my journey.
I think if I had learned the tools of recovery earlier I might have been less self-sabotaging but then it probably would not have been the right time. But if I had understood what I understand now and how I used sexuality to get some things and not just sex but just sexuality as a woman, if I knew I was doing that at that point maybe I would have made a shift earlier on. But then again I had to go through exactly what I had to go through in order to be the person I am today.
And so what I learned was that sexuality is powerful. I’ve seen it worked in good ways and in not so good ways. I still see it today even with my husband. So to be mindful about that. To really be respectful of its power, potential and then also be aware of the circumstances that come up from that is important. So I wish I was more mindful from the get go about it, at a younger age. To be more self-compassionate as well. In order to not find myself in certain emotional predicaments or certain manipulating tendencies.
So yeah, I mean what I know today is I have awareness and a mindful approach to it because I still can use it to manipulate things today, right?
8. Okay. What would you like to say to other women?
I think beauty comes from within, it Is soul deep and that we are fortunate enough to be able to be women. By far the most important thing is to be of service and help life each other up. Especially in ways which will help with spiritual growth. Being of support to one another, I think is soul deep and it’s spirit deep, so in anything that we do I think it’s important to be able to find something that shakes our spirit and shakes our soul. I’ve managed to be able to that, I’ve been fortunate and honored and oh so grateful to be able to find and see the little things that bring out the beauty from within me and as cliché as it is, we are all beautiful.
And with mindfulness, with the tools of mindfulness or the mindful way of being that I live in or live by, I get to notice that by paying attention to the beauty within each other, it is such an awakening experience. It’s like a new pair of glasses we need to adopt, to see that beauty within each other and even in the ugly or what we would deemed ugly in terms of like attitude, character or whatever behavior, to still find beauty somehow and then turn that perception into something pretty positive. And that’s not just between women I think, I that’s a hope I have for everyone. To be able to find or to just embrace and respect each other.
9. Okay. So, how was your photoshoot?
The photoshoot was exactly what I thought what was going to be and I think maybe a little bit more. So everything I thought was going to be, was. In a way that I felt that it was going to be a nice relaxing thing to do, it sure was. I didn’t realize how meditative it was going to be too or perhaps it was just how I approached it. I was simply being relaxed through it, listening to my body in that moment, feeling the sensations throughout my body and doing so without much thoughts or judgment going on, just really being comfortable in my own skin.
So, I think I was comfortable and it doing the shoot just made sense. I know that it’s something that I was meant to do at some point of my life and I think everything happens for a reason like there’s no coincidences and the fact that you have message me just two weeks ago or something like that and out of the blue asking me to do the shoot. But immediately when you said a vulva photoshoot, I was like yeah, for sure, but I also knew I should do my due diligence to kind of find out more about the book and reason behind it, etc.
And I’m just thinking that my daughter is going to look at this book in the future and it’s just something to remind her maybe like oh, that’s how mommy was or how I remember her to be. Maybe something in her body and in her mind is going to register and remember the photos of my body in this photoshoot so I think that is just special.