1. What do you feel about, how do you feel about being a woman?
I don’t know. There’s a lot of labor that comes to being a woman that a lot of people don’t realize or only other women or like people identify as woman. Yeah, they experience this emotional labor and it is a way to navigate around the world because a lot of time you’re just like because of the body I exist in I’m treated differently and it’s a very and there’s a weird sense. Also like the color of your skin, the color of your body, the way your body is formed, the way your body is shaped, it determines how society treats you as a person and not just as a gender or your gender orientation or what gender orientation you identify, so sexual orientation, it’s like, I mean even with like homosexual relationship, homosexual relationship between two women, it’s like there is expectations put on these two bodies that has nothing to do with you.
Like there is this idea of oh if it is two hot lesbians, it’s fine. But when it’s two normal women or not like typically hot women or like someone who presents more masculine or two women who presents more masculine, but they are still sis and they are identify as women and it’s suddenly wrong. So, it’s almost like our bodies are always meant to see she, a male gays. Like we only can exist or women can exist or we can only validated for the male gays. Yeah, I think that’s it.
2. And how does that make you feel?
It’s unfair, it’s definitely unfair. I think like we all get to exist in our own bodies because we are born with these bodies and like why are we passing so much judgment onto others when other people can judge your bodies too? So, it’s like who are these people judging and why are we judging these bodies and why are we dehumanizing people based on the bodies that they exist in? Yeah.
3. I know it’s not there, but does that make you angry to be a woman, I mean it’s unfair?
A lot of times. Yeah, I’m very angry to be a woman. A lot of times, because of the way people treat you like even how women treat you sometimes, if you look a certain way there’s no like winning in no matter how you look. Like even if you look like you won the lottery like if you are tall, beautiful, you’re skinny or whatever, whatever the society deems you as beautiful, you will still be judge because you won’t get by professionally, you won’t get success professionally unless like you are in the modeling industry or you’re in the certain industry. What if you don’t want to be in the modeling industry, what if you want to work a normal job like one with HR? You know, people are allowed to do what they have to do, do what they want even if they exist in a certain kind of body.
I mean I have experienced a lot of situations where women have treated me with a lot of hate, because of the way I look, like they think that I’m just like some who can’t get anywhere or whatever because of the fact that they expect validation from men, they treat women who get validated by men shittily, like as if they are not worth more than their looks. Yeah, and they just judge purely on looks not by what we are capable of, yeah.
4. How did you feel about your vulva, vagina genital growing up?
It is interesting because, it is an interesting question because like I don’t felt any type of way about my vulva and vagina, because I think also because I started masturbating like really young and it’s like I can’t hate anything that can give me so much pleasure. Yeah, I can’t hate anything that is necessary for my existence as a person or yeah, it was whenever I hear about people talking about like how they hated their vagina or hear about stories like people getting vaginaplasty, is that what it’s called?
Like vaginaplasty to look a certain way, but why would you want to, I mean a vagina is a vagina, a vulva is a vulva like no matter what it is, if you identify as a woman and you are born with male genitalia, I understand that you want to get female genitalia, but at the same time like for people who are women who have female genitalia and they want to mutilated to look like somebody else’s genitalia is so strange to me. Like everyone genitalia is different, everyone’s beauty is different, to look like someone else is ridiculous, yeah, and to have a certain notion of what a beautiful vagina looks like is ridiculous, yeah.
5. And how do you feel about your vulva, vagina genitals now?
I think I embrace the power of it more, yeah more than anything else. Like the more I see like crap like the most beautiful vagina contest or whatever, the more like I embrace. I get angry first, I always use anger to like to self-actualize in a way. So, it’s like when I see that I get angry, but at the same time I’m like I use the anger to question like okay, why am I angry, because there is certain notions. How am I going to be a force to like to be against that which is never conform. Yeah, it just never conformed. And also it’s easier just not to conform and embrace your own body, isn’t it? So, I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars mutilating my already working vagina, for what? Yeah.
6. What role do you think your, where am I? What role does your vulva, vagina genitals play in your sexuality?
I think it plays a big part and also it informs that I need to demand to get pleasure of sexual experience also, because a lot of times like a lot of men, they don’t realize that how to pleasure a vagina, a vulva. They don’t know how to pleasure someone with female genitalia. They just don’t know how it works, they don’t know how anything works and they don’t ask. So, for me it helps me like inform that person like this is how you pleasure it because I’ve done it and I can do it easily and I know better than anybody else of how my vulva is going to be pleasure. So, you’re going to have to listen to me. So, it’s basically demanding power back again, yeah.
7. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up?
There’s nothing to shameful of, like your sexuality, it’s what you like. Your kings, your desires, your sexual desires or even your sexual orientation, why you’re attracted to some people, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Like the most basic form like we are almost expected to be as a sis, heterosexual women is like you’re expected to be attracted to a certain kind of male body and then you’re not, as you’re growing up you realize you’re not attracted to that at all like in any shape or form. So, there’s nothing to be shameful of it and just because like that person doesn’t conform the society’s standards and doesn’t mean they are less of a person. Yeah, so it’s just I’m not going to be ashamed of like liking a person because I like them and sexuality is not just about the physicalness of anything, it’s about the emotion, it’s about feelings, it’s about the vibes.
It’s when someone walks into a room, they may not be the most attractive person in the world, but their vibe is so magnetic that you just get immediately drawn to them and that’s what sexuality is, yeah, that you’re drawn to a vibe of a person.
8. What would you like to say to other women through this?
That no part of your body is to be ashamed of. No part of your body is, every part of your body whether you like it or not, it’s there because it’s a part of you and if you treat it right, if you treat your body parts right, they would treat you right back. They would give you a lot of pleasure whether to give you self-confidence as a person and yeah, it makes you the person that you are and even if you’re looking for someone to be, if you’re looking for a partner or anything like that, you have to embrace yourself. There’s no point, there’s no fucking point, just there’s no point trying to be someone else. Yeah.
9. How was your shoot just now?
Oh good. Yeah, it was good.
10. For the website, anything you want to share?
Oh for shoot just now?
Okay. It was a very comfortable experience. It was more comfortable than any other experience that I’ve been with, I mean I’ve been to. So, it’s, yeah it was more comfortable than I expect it. Like there’s always the sense of nervousness when I go to a shoot or like modeling we have to be nude. But this time it was like no, there was no nervousness coming here because it was for something else. It was not just for like, it was not just for being in a picture or being in a painting or something or just being a model for the sake of being a model, but it was for something else. Yeah, it’s for bigger than what it actually is. Yeah.