Janice – Vulva Interview

1. How do you feel about being a woman?

I celebrate being a woman and overall being human! i feel rather fortunate because I am comfortable in my own skin at this point in my life and love just being who I am, body and all. Took me a while to realise that we should not follow the social conventions of how a woman should behave and look but rather appreciate whoever you may be. Also, I have realised that being a woman is just but one aspect of ‘ME’ – I am defined neither by gender nor sexuality only.

2. How did you feel about your vulva/ vagina/ genitals growing up?

I do not recall that we talked about private parts much whether at home or in public. But I was definitely curious about their development such as pubic hair growth.. I wondered if the other girls’ ‘vagina’ were like mine. Also I remembered that anything related to sex including our genitals was something ‘hush-hush’ and ‘good girls’ do not talk about it.

3. What is your relationship with your vulva/ vagina/ genitals now?

I am in a playful and curious relationship with my vulva – still trying to get to know her more intimately and get used to how she looks as I never had a good complete look until recently. But definitely I am enjoying this journey of self discovery!

4. What role does our vulva/ vagina/ genitals play in your sexuality (being a sexual person)?

Well I believe strongly that Sexual Health is part of “Total Well-being”- sexual/physical needs are as important as emotional, spiritual and mental needs. I enjoy sex very much and our genitals are definitely significant in delivering pleasure whether on your own or with a partner. We should play and explore with our genitals to discover what turns you on and ultimately have the ability to reach orgasms. That said, sexuality does not necessary equate to sex for me. You can also exude sexuality say from being sensual, sexy, seductive or desirable without performing the act itself. Sexuality is a fun playground!

5. What do you wish you learned about your sexuality growing up

I wish we had learnt what exactly is sexuality and to embrace it as well as to understand that sexual desire is only a human need, and not something to be ashamed of.  From there we can then learn both the biological and the emotional aspects of managing sexuality in totality.

 

6. What would you like to say to other women?

Remember that self care includes taking care of your Sexual Health – take ownership of getting to know your own body and be more aware of your sexuality. In Asian Culture, we have been “told” that the men would know what to do in bed but that isn’t true. The word “Intercourse” inherently means there’s an exchange so please choose to engage and interact and not feel embarrassed or ashamed in the case of those who have a sexual partner. I believe that the act of physical intimacy gets better when we are more aware of our bodies and have an open dialogue with our partners on what each other prefers.  Sex might be awkward the first few times but it can and will get better with communication. And don’t get caught up with the blaming game eg I can’t reach an orgasm because he only cares about his own. Ultimately, it’s all about an exchange of learning and respect with open communication.

Last but not least,

Celebrate being who you ARE, not what society expects of you, Celebrate your human form no matter what shape or size you are in,

Celebrate both your feminine and masculine traits.

Embrace your Sexuality.

And don’t forget to always “ Play and Explore”..

7. How was your shoot?

A little nervous at first as this was out of my comfort zone but Martha, Kelvin and his wife Elaine and I chatted before the shoot. After the chat, I realised we were all on the same page in this project to move forward in a ‘progressive’ attempt at normalising ‘Sex-related’ talk and reducing taboo, educate the masses, help women with medical conditions and give Asian women a voice.

I was made comfortable during the shoot and even more surprised when I saw the end results of the photos. Kelvin has a brilliant eye in capturing your essence – very tastefully done and I saw my body in a new fascinating light! Definitely would recommend everyone, including other genders to do a nude shoot since it was really more about capturing the beauty of our human form especially in a light that we probably would never have seen nor imagine ourselves in!

Also after the shoot, I took my time around a month to process the whole experience of taking part in the project. I was wondering if I had to identify my vulva when the book is published since I had friends asking me about it after I posted I was one of the models for the book project. I was slightly torn because I wanted to put my real name to this project as I was very proud of the cause yet I didn’t want the whole world to see my vulva as I value my privacy. In the end I decided I would still give my real name but didn’t have to “announce’ to the whole world which of the vulvas was mine unless i choose to!

My personal dilemma was happily resolved.  In the meantime, I received lots of support from my close friends who were proud of my choice.

Definitely, an experience that is not for everyone but if you ever decide to step out of your comfort zone to contribute to this worthy cause, you shall surprise yourself, discover “new”parts of you never explored before and perhaps even thank yourself for having the courage to step out of your comfort zone!

Chilli Padi – Vulva Interview

1. So, how do you feel about being a Woman?

I think being a woman is a wonderful thing. I think we have a multiple roles. As a daughter, as a mother, as a spouse, and so, and sometimes people put a lot of expectation for being a Chilli Padi. We need to be perfect at work, also at home. So, we need to be perfect in everything.

2. How do you feel?

So, with all those, I think I’m proud of being a woman because I’m giving a life to my son. I think that’s the most, you know, the most beautiful things for being a woman, ah yeah.

3. How do you feel about your vulva, vagina, and genitals growing-up when you were growing-up?

Well, I came from a very conservative family so I don’t have much knowledge about that. Even we call it with not the real names. So, I think, I, now as I grow-up, I understand better about the function about how its looks like, about the feel, yeah. So, I think we need to be more open in the society talking about this, more than just a vagina. I mean, yeah. That answer your question?

4. So, growing up, did you think about genitals, or what do you feel about your genitals, maybe nothing?

What I feel? Well, there is nothing definitely. So, it’s more than, it’s more than sexual needs, I think, yeah.

5. Ok, that’s what you think growing up.

Now, this is a difficult question you know. I think I can respect my vagina more because, again like it’s not just about sexual things but can deliver the baby. Yeah. It’s more than one function I think, yeah.

6. Yes, but what role does, what role does your vagina, vulva, genitals play in your sexuality?

Oh, I think that is important because like as a Chilli Padi, sometimes, we like, let in the sexual relationship most of the Chilli Padi, let the man like feel, you know. How to say, like feeling satisfied and we kind of like sacrifice our needs. Oh, we like shy to tell what we want, what we feel. I think, what role? It means that it’s. What I mean, both ones need to be satisfied as well. Yeah.

7. So, what do you wish you learned about your sexual being, growing up?

Ah, what do you wish you learned? I think I wish I got a more sexual education. More than what I experienced right now. It’s not something that’s taboo or forbidden. I think we need to be more open to talking about it. Not just like in education at school when you are in grade five. But it’s learning, I think. It’s a learning journey to understand the sexuality, and it needs, it needs education as well. I mean, it’s not like something, just natural that you let go as you grow up, yeah.

8. Yes, I agree. What would you like to say to other women?

I think being a Chilli Padi, being a Chilli Padi is; we need to be strong, and then, you need also to self-care, self-love because as a Chilli Padi sometimes we tend to sacrifice our own needs, like okay for our parents when you haven’t married. Then when we are married, we prioritize husband and when we got children, we prioritize our children over our needs. I think as a Chilli Padi, we need to be strong as well. To love yourself. I think that’s the most important thing and then being comfortable with, with your body, with your looks because society put a lot of pressure, “a beauty standard is like this”. So just being comfortable with yourself and then, yeah. It makes you confident and strong.

9. So how was your photo shoot just now? How was it?

Oh well, my first time ever, so, yeah, it’s a combination of like; nervous and fun; And also like, since I’m not supermodel you know like, I have cellulite, I have stretch marks. Or whether these flaws will appear in the photo or yeah. Yeah, but I think, since I’m doing this for a cause, which is a good cause, and I trust you.  I trust you Martha, and I trust Kelvin. All very professionals, so yeah, I enjoyed it so much. Yeah.

Anitha – Vulva Interview

1. How do you feel about being a woman?

I’ve always enjoyed being a woman for most part, but the atrocities against women and what I have been through in life, I’ve been molested quite a few times since I was 11, I think and it went on for a while. So, something in that way makes me upset about being a woman, but for most of my life I’ve been very happy to be a woman.

2. How did you feel about your vulva, vagina, and genitals growing up?

I was always very explorative. I think I started masturbating quite young, about 8 or 9 years old. So, I’ve been very explorative and only then after a few year of me doing that, I found that that it was actually very taboo thing to do, because I was told by people that it was a very taboo thing, but I don’t think I’ve actually ever truly felt that way. So yeah, I’m quite, I’ve always looked at it in the mirror to see what it looks like,, so very experimental in that way.

3. Yes. So, you’re telling us what you did, but how did you feel about them?

Nothing. I don’t think I attached any meaning to it as such. It was just something that was there for my pleasure and that was it, pleasure and functionality, that was it, nothing attached to it.

4. That’s great. So, what is your relationship with your vulva, vagina genitals now?

I think it’s only improved now that I’m older. I don’t know, I used it a lot for sex which is really good and yeah, I think my relationship with it has only improved as years have gone by. Yeah, I’m more and more explorative now than I was when I was younger.

5. What role do you think our vulva, vagina genitals play in our sexuality or in your sexuality? 

I think it play such a huge role in my sexuality because it’s an organ that can give me so much pleasure. So, I like to use it as much as I can, as often as I can and it plays a very very major role in pleasure basically, in pleasuring me. Yeah, that’s it, that’s all I have to say about that.

4. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up? What do you wish you learn about being a sexual person?

I wish, I really wish that there was more education about sexuality and not in the way that it’s a taboo or please don’t be over sexual or whatever. I wish it was more normalize and I wish there was more not in the way of it being very very medical, I really wish it was taught that it was okay to masturbate and it was okay to be however you chose to be whether very feminine or masculine and I wish that these things weren’t attached to sexuality. I feel like, I wish that there was more openness about sex and it being a more personality kind of thing and it being more attached to you as a person and not as a gender. Yes, yeah, that’s it.

5. So, what would you like to say to other women through this?

I wish that you would be more open about your body and exploring your sexuality. I wish you would be more open about exploring your own body and I don’t think it has anything to do with your gender, you can identify it as anything and please be very free to love whoever you want to love regardless of gender and be very kind and loving to yourself because you deserve love from others, but more so you deserve love from yourself and a lot of acceptance from yourself and please do not compare yourself to other women or other bodies, other minds, you were brought here for a reason, you’re here for a reason, please be very accepting of who you are and really choose to love yourself everyday just like you choose to love others. Yeah.

6.  So how was your photoshoot?

I really really enjoyed myself. Martha kept talking to me which was very very, which put me at ease and Kelvin is such a gentle and inclusive photographer and he is, both of them really really put you at ease and not once did I think that oh my god I’m lying here naked, it was just a lot of freedom to and I’ve never done something like this before, so I felt like a lot of freedom and I’m very very open to doing something like this again. Yes.

Emma – Vulva Interview

1.  So, how do you feel about being a woman?

Being a woman, I just accept the fact that I’m sexually woman, even though I have a lot of, or kind of history that I refuse that aspect a lot historically, but not currently. Yes, okay, I’m just okay to accept the yeah, fact. So yeah, of course there are a lot of limitations like it’s more like more proficiently and how I raised. Yeah, it’s more like I had kind of some struggle in my childhood of my relationship to my mother. My mother actually expects a lot to me as a woman, so yeah, she actually tried to force me to appreciate somebody like being pretty, like being loved by anybody, just not really something like be or don’t look strong, don’t look capable.

So, sometimes this kind of body conflicts with my true self, so yeah, I’m more like struggling with that and try to be something else. Yeah, then I actually, I had a history of something like something having a trouble in relationships because of this. Something like my original mindset was I’m not really lovable, because my mother keeps telling me that nobody would love me or marry me because I’m too strong, too rude, too explicit, so this is kind of my dark side of my history of being a woman.

But recently I had a child. This experience was so amazing. Yeah, I really loved every moment and actually helped me a lot to go back to myself. After being a mother, I physically somewhat forced to admit accept that my, sorry, my husband.

Forced to accept, because my body changed.  Forced to admit that I am woman.

Body changed and also my mind actually followed. Like I was more like I’m forced to be more honest to myself and actually yeah, when I had a baby at the same time I was quite busy with my work, but then sometimes I had a huge difficulty in touching up the work because of my body was not really yeah, as usual, and I was quite weaker and I also needed to take care of my baby, so this kind of physical constraint affected me to be honest to my body and mind.

Which is something I was not really into hardworking in a more like competitive corporate world. Then yeah, I somewhat naturally started the practice of meditation then I saw me, myself is not at all liking the profession, then decided to leave the job. Hence, actually our experience () kind of a massive experience as a woman, mother really helped me to go back to myself.

2. Beautiful. So, how do you feel about your vulva, vagina, genitals growing up? How do you feel about down here growing up?

I see. Actually, I naturally had a habit to masturbate myself, very naturally. Yeah, I find out that it’s not very normal for a aging women, but I really had naturally how to yes, obtain the habit to masturbate myself and yeah, first it was just a slit. When I was really small, I just recognized it is just a slit. But as I explored myself, I find that that’s more than a slit. Yeah, then I naturally discovered the kind a clitoris, it was kind of a sweet.

Yeah, I try all to stimulate in many ways. At first finger was not really enough for me then I actually, I applied the shower then yeah, the experience was quite yeah, amusing. Then because in the shower it’s really had a limitation like because I have a limited time for the showering and if I take longer time my parents may find discover that I’m doing something in appropriate, so I really discovered how to kind of satisfy myself with the finger.

Like this way I yeah, I was really curious to explore my genital area and but something like I at the same time I researched about the things then yeah, I learned. I need to kind of keep the opportunity at the same time. So, I really didn’t touch to that kind or am I right to see the vagina as a hole, right? Vagina. So, I really avoided touching the vagina. But actually, I sometime read some kind of advertisement over the tampon, then I found out okay using tampon never kind of harms my virginity, so I try it by myself when I had a period on the day I was meeting my friend to go to the pool, then I know where my mother was hiding the tampon, I pick up one and try out.

It was a little bit scary, but I trusted the instruction on the tampon, then it actually worked a lot. Then after that my mother was so surprised that I started to use it, but I felt a kind of sense of achievement.  Achievement means like a I wouldn’t be affected even I was in period, I can still swim and enjoy my life, so yeah. This is the one, then the tampon never affects my virginity. Then, so something like this is a part journey on my life with the vagina or genital area. Then yeah, and the next something like some turning point comes when I had a past sex with my ex-boyfriend, I never bleed, I had no bleeding.

Then my ex-boyfriend doubted my virginity, I was so shocked. Probably I know bleeding maybe I was quite flexible in my body maybe that is why. So, I went to the library and really researched to kind of even know the relationship with virginity and the bleeding. And I found out, I finally found out some books, some medical book, I don’t know what actually there could be no bleeding when according to the something like the women’s flexibility and all that, then I remember that I showed the fact to my ex-boyfriend. Yeah, but these days as I grow older since last 5 years or something, I became more and more sexually you know really active.

The thing is okay, when I was younger, I had no problem in wetting. My area can easily turned wet, but these days I had huge difficulty in something or getting wet, and that’s where I actually started to work hard on making baby with my husband. So, I needed to buy cum lubricant and I found here in Singapore, there’s no really kind of product, the quality is not really good, I explored the online shopping for a better one.

Yes, so these days I more or less, I’m less sexuality more like active and when I try my masturbation, I take less time, and I can easily get orgasm, but it’s quick, subtle and short while. So, now I feel my, this area is aging, then now I’m in the midst of the process of accepting the aging as a woman, yeah.

3. Thank you. So, how do you feel about your genitals now?

Just now, it’s growing up is now. Yes, I was aging. Then less active sexually. I’m not sure whether this is healthy or not mentally.

4. How do you feel?

Yeah, sometimes, not really freaking, but sometimes actually I missed the feeling of sexually active. But maybe I think now I’m trying to understand that that is a kind of () yeah, () just occasional this is just one of the period of my life, sexual life and I don’t know how it turns, changes, go back to active or just stay inactive or will become more or less active, I don’t know, but so far yeah, I just decided it’s okay and somewhat because my husband is also not that sexually active, so maybe I think yeah, it’s good to be not really active if I want, prefer to stay with him. Yeah, I do.

5. So what role do you think our vulva, vagina, genitals play in your sexuality or what role do you think your genitals play in your sexuality?

Importance, not important? Sexuality, it is important. But I wouldn’t say that it is the most important part. Every part of my body actually have an important role as a woman. Yes, just one of the most important parts, but just one.

6. Okay. So, what do you wish you learned about your sexuality growing up?

Wish you Learned, in the past you mean? I’m actually, I have struggled in accepting myself. But struggle I think I was quite sexually quite open. It’s really weird to me. I think I feel I’m less accepting myself compared to other people, but I’m still open sexually. So, something like yeah, I was blessing the opportunity to sexually accepting myself. So, actually I was okay with my entire history of sexuality. So yes, I never think it could be better. I’m good as good as I am, I have been.

7. So, do you wish you learned anything?

Okay. Just by curiosity yeah, if I had some kind of opportunity to be sexually intimate to the same sex it maybe amusing, yeah.

8. What would you like to say to other women?

Women? Luckily or unluckily our gender is supposedly to be more like suppressive and secondary role in the society, but I wish, let’s something like, yeah, let’s celebrate. Yeah, but sexually I think or physically our body is interesting compared to guys I think. So yeah, let’s stay proud to be a woman despite of the secondary social role in most of the societies.

9. That’s great. So, how was your photoshoot?

Okay, I still don’t know whether I worked well or not. I just tried to stay natural and I trust Kelvin, it’s () capture my natural aspect. So, I still don’t know until I see the actual picture.

10. How do you feel about it?

Oh, okay. It’s quite natural. It’s surprisingly natural and this environment was near perfect for me to open up myself, but maybe I actually still, I still kept, maybe keeping my sexual aspect. So, I think I believed I was open, but I’m not sure how much I was sexually open, like because something like he photoshoot my genital area, right? But I never tried to look at it. I actually most of the time I kept looking away from like (). This means I think this might mean that I was a bit, not really something like open to myself, something like you know I may not be opening my sexual part to myself. Let’s see how I look in the picture.

Audrey – Vulva Interview

1. So, how do you feel about being a woman?

I think being a woman is hard, but at the same time it’s amazing because our body can do so many things. For example, having a child on it, producing breast milk and things like that. So, I think that’s pretty amazing. And then how do I feel about my genitals growing up? I think it’s something that we don’t really talk about in an Asian family, because they think that it’s a very private thing, so you don’t talk about it. So, even if you’re having some issues there you have to speak in a very hush tone whether it’s to your parents or somebody.

2. What is your relationship with your vagina now?

I think being, I’m generally a little different from I would say from most of my Asian friends. I’m pretty open in that sense that I explore, so I think I have a closer relationship than most would have with their own genitals. What role does it play in my sexuality? I have never really thought about that. To me sex, my sexuality is not just about the genital, the whole or whatever. It’s the whole thing. It includes the physical and the emotional sort of things. Yeah, and I think mentally have to be there too.

3. What do you wish you’ve learned about your sexuality growing up?

To be a little more open and not be shy about it. I think a lot of people are really shy talking about it. And to some extent I think it would have been nice to have someone that you can actually talk to, to earn a little bit more about how you discover the pleasure for yourself or whether it’s with another partner, but someone to talk, someone to learn it besides what’s available which is really not about education, but just visual satisfaction.

4. What would you like to say to other woman?

Love yourself and your body. I mean you only have one, so be proud of it. Yeah. How was my photo shoot? I was just saying to Calvin, right? Calvin. I’ve never done this before, but surprisingly no palpitation, no anxiety, it was nice, it was a very good experience, a very good experience. I think it would be nice to, I think it would be good for people to consider doing it one every few years especially those who have already had children.

They always say oh, I wish I was what I was before kids, but they should see the beauty of what they are after kids. I think that’s very important and I think it’s good for husband to support their wives in this because it give them a sense of, you know the changes in the body is because of the love. Yeah, I think they should really really consider doing a shoot like that.

Whether it’s going to be a couple thing or not, I think the women should just do it for themselves, the changes of the body, yeah, yeah.

348 – Vulva Interview

1. How do you feel about being a woman?

Wow, what a question. I think it’s amazing being a woman, like I love being a woman, but I also saw family members grow up who have women who, I don’t know, they were not given the same opportunities as I do now in the past and also just this idea of how women should act and behave and look like is something that is yeah, because I’m very () and like to do like all these crazy things and talk about like really important things and a lot of the times my family is and like people are against that especially because I’m a woman and I should not be doing that and it should be like contained and controlled and like supportive, right? Yeah, but I feel like things are changing a lot and yeah, and I mean through art I get to talk about things that empower women.

2.  So, you feel that being a woman is amazing?

Yeah, I love it, I love being a woman and there’s a part that comes with the body, right? The maternal body and the female body and I love owning that.

3.  Yeah, that’s great. So, how did you feel about your vulva, vagina, genitals growing up?

It’s always something that was kept hidden and you have to kind of, it’s funny because my mom, she didn’t talk to me about menstruation or what your vagina is supposed to look like and it’s not as if like as kids we were allowed to like run around and be naked, we always had to like cover up and be proper especially being a little girl, right?

So, instead I got like this book that told me everything I needed to know about my vagina. So as a kid I would just like look to this book and like put a mirror there and kind of like figure out what our vagina supposed to look like. Yeah, and also at a very young age you kind of discover porn, right, with all your friends or whatever and then you look at these people’s vaginas like these women’s vaginas in porn and you’re like oh my god, that doesn’t look like mine, like does that mean I’m disfigured, does that mean my vagina is ugly, like you know what I mean?

Yeah, is my vagina normal? Yeah, so yeah. But yeah it was always something that’s supposed to be hidden, kept hidden and yeah, so I was always very embarrassed of it like even in locker room, in playing sports or anything, you go into the changing rooms as in Asia it’s not like in the States or in UK when you watch movies where everyone that comes get naked and the thing, it’s not like that.

I remember going to school and doing all these sports and going to the changing rooms and everyone would always like run into the cubicles and like so I was never used to see other people’s vaginas too, so I didn’t know how, what vaginas supposed to look like and how would I compare my vagina. You know what I mean? Yeah.

4. How do you feel about them now?

Well, for a long time I had that mentally of the whole have to keep to it hidden. I think it’s like an ugly thing, you know what I mean, because I didn’t know what it was supposed to look like and then you compare it to porn or movies or anything like that, so I always kept it hidden. But then like I stated learning about the female body and like through the things that I have been doing to, like I become more and more comfortable around like with my body and especially when you’re surrounded by women who are comfortable around their body, they kind of make you feel like comfortable around your body and yeah, I feel that it’s really important to feel beautiful, right and especially when it comes to like something down there. Not be ashamed of like what you have or what you’ve grown up with. Yeah, so I think I love my vagina with it. Yeah, all its curves and folds.

5. But what is your relationship with them, what role do you think your vulva, vagina genitals play in your sexuality? What role it plays like some people feel that it’s not that important, some people feel it’s very important.

Right. I mean I feel like doing sex, I feel like it has everything kind of plays a part and like every part is an important part, so is your vagina and vulva and everything around it I think it does play an important part, yeah. I’m trying to like think and yeah, especially because it’s like I think it adds to it because like this is a part where like it’s rarely talk about or something you keeps, it’s supposed to be kept hidden like during sex when like that part is like explored, it’s like, how to say this, it’s like this new feeling especially because even yourself like looking at the area or like touching the area it’s not doesn’t really like, I don’t know, you don’t do it often.

But I’m trying like think properly. I’m trying to put it in words what I have in my head. Yeah, I don’t know, it definitely adds to it when someone explores this thing that is supposed to be hidden. Yeah, it adds to the experience I guess, yeah.

6. Definitely. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up?

I wish I wasn’t so embarrassed about my body and not be afraid to explore more things, be more adventurous, but because it’s like it was growing up I was never, sex was never talk about in my family, it was like a book that was handed to me. So, because I wasn’t talk about I didn’t really know to do or try or be afraid of trying it. So I just, yeah, but it was something like super taboo, right? So, yeah I just feel like I was comfortable in my own skin. Yeah, because I feel if you’re not then you can’t fully kind of be in that moment or experience, that connection between that person, yeah.

7.  What would you like to say to other women?

Wow, all these questions are so like deep. I would definite say like education plays a massive part, so like to educate your children on their bodies and what to expect in the future. Also to kind of also like take care of your body, that’s very important. Because I feel not enough people go to the GYNE and do checkups and all that. And also like it’s okay to shaved, but I mean like love everything about your body no matter like the bulges, the (), the folds, the marks, the scars, I mean everything is so, everything makes you beautiful in who you are and I feel like that’s very important to kind of like embrace all of it even those things that you consider are imperfections, they make of you, yeah.

8. Great. So, I ask this just now, but how was your photoshoot?

Oh my god. At first I was so scared, but then because it’s not something I’ve never done before, but it was such an experience. It was like so freeing, it was like the first time that your naked in front of someone that is like not your partner, like you know what I mean? And it’s not sexual, it’s like a, it was such like an art, it’s like an art or like the way he was taking his photos or like positioning me like you know what I mean?

It was definitely like a full art, right? And also like I’ve never had someone be so close to my vagina before and just focusing on this part and it’s like all these insecurities like inside me start coming out because it’s like I know exactly, I know what parts and like what spots and what dots and stuff are like on my body, so I’m kind of like oh no. So like, but and then after a while I became comfortable with it and like that line after I crossed it, I was completely comfortable. Yeah and it was a really really nice feeling to just kind of like expose yourself in a way, right? Yeah, and just let all those insecurities go and like leave another door. Yeah, it was really like liberating.

Chand – Vulva Interview

1. What do you feel about, how do you feel about being a woman?

I don’t know. There’s a lot of labor that comes to being a woman that a lot of people don’t realize or only other women or like people identify as woman. Yeah, they experience this emotional labor and it is a way to navigate around the world because a lot of time you’re just like because of the body I exist in I’m treated differently and it’s a very and there’s a weird sense. Also like the color of your skin, the color of your body, the way your body is formed, the way your body is shaped, it determines how society treats you as a person and not just as a gender or your gender orientation or what gender orientation you identify, so sexual orientation, it’s like, I mean even with like homosexual relationship, homosexual relationship between two women, it’s like there is expectations put on these two bodies that has nothing to do with you.

Like there is this idea of oh if it is two hot lesbians, it’s fine. But when it’s two normal women or not like typically hot women or like someone who presents more masculine or two women who presents more masculine, but they are still sis and they are identify as women and it’s suddenly wrong. So, it’s almost like our bodies are always meant to see she, a male gays. Like we only can exist or women can exist or we can only validated for the male gays. Yeah, I think that’s it.

2. And how does that make you feel?

It’s unfair, it’s definitely unfair. I think like we all get to exist in our own bodies because we are born with these bodies and like why are we passing so much judgment onto others when other people can judge your bodies too? So, it’s like who are these people judging and why are we judging these bodies and why are we dehumanizing people based on the bodies that they exist in? Yeah.

3. I know it’s not there, but does that make you angry to be a woman, I mean it’s unfair?

A lot of times. Yeah, I’m very angry to be a woman. A lot of times, because of the way people treat you like even how women treat you sometimes, if you look a certain way there’s no like winning in no matter how you look. Like even if you look like you won the lottery like if you are tall, beautiful, you’re skinny or whatever, whatever the society deems you as beautiful, you will still be judge because you won’t get by professionally, you won’t get success professionally unless like you are in the modeling industry or you’re in the certain industry. What if you don’t want to be in the modeling industry, what if you want to work a normal job like one with HR? You know, people are allowed to do what they have to do, do what they want even if they exist in a certain kind of body.

I mean I have experienced a lot of situations where women have treated me with a lot of hate, because of the way I look, like they think that I’m just like some who can’t get anywhere or whatever because of the fact that they expect validation from men, they treat women who get validated by men shittily, like as if they are not worth more than their looks. Yeah, and they just judge purely on looks not by what we are capable of, yeah.

4. How did you feel about your vulva, vagina genital growing up?

It is interesting because, it is an interesting question because like I don’t felt any type of way about my vulva and vagina, because I think also because I started masturbating like really young and it’s like I can’t hate anything that can give me so much pleasure. Yeah, I can’t hate anything that is necessary for my existence as a person or yeah, it was whenever I hear about people talking about like how they hated their vagina or hear about stories like people getting vaginaplasty, is that what it’s called?

Like vaginaplasty to look a certain way, but why would you want to, I mean a vagina is a vagina, a vulva is a vulva like no matter what it is, if you identify as a woman and you are born with male genitalia, I understand that you want to get female genitalia, but at the same time like for people who are women who have female genitalia and they want to mutilated to look like somebody else’s genitalia is so strange to me. Like everyone genitalia is different, everyone’s beauty is different, to look like someone else is ridiculous, yeah, and to have a certain notion of what a beautiful vagina looks like is ridiculous, yeah.

5. And how do you feel about your vulva, vagina genitals now?

I think I embrace the power of it more, yeah more than anything else. Like the more I see like crap like the most beautiful vagina contest or whatever, the more like I embrace. I get angry first, I always use anger to like to self-actualize in a way. So, it’s like when I see that I get angry, but at the same time I’m like I use the anger to question like okay, why am I angry, because there is certain notions. How am I going to be a force to like to be against that which is never conform. Yeah, it just never conformed. And also it’s easier just not to conform and embrace your own body, isn’t it? So, I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars mutilating my already working vagina, for what? Yeah.

6. What role do you think your, where am I? What role does your vulva, vagina genitals play in your sexuality?

I think it plays a big part and also it informs that I need to demand to get pleasure of sexual experience also, because a lot of times like a lot of men, they don’t realize that how to pleasure a vagina, a vulva. They don’t know how to pleasure someone with female genitalia. They just don’t know how it works, they don’t know how anything works and they don’t ask. So, for me it helps me like inform that person like this is how you pleasure it because I’ve done it and I can do it easily and I know better than anybody else of how my vulva is going to be pleasure. So, you’re going to have to listen to me. So, it’s basically demanding power back again, yeah.

7. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up?

There’s nothing to shameful of, like your sexuality, it’s what you like. Your kings, your desires, your sexual desires or even your sexual orientation, why you’re attracted to some people, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Like the most basic form like we are almost expected to be as a sis, heterosexual women is like you’re expected to be attracted to a certain kind of male body and then you’re not, as you’re growing up you realize you’re not attracted to that at all like in any shape or form. So, there’s nothing to be shameful of it and just because like that person doesn’t conform the society’s standards and doesn’t mean they are less of a person. Yeah, so it’s just I’m not going to be ashamed of like liking a person because I like them and sexuality is not just about the physicalness of anything, it’s about the emotion, it’s about feelings, it’s about the vibes.

It’s when someone walks into a room, they may not be the most attractive person in the world, but their vibe is so magnetic that you just get immediately drawn to them and that’s what sexuality is, yeah, that you’re drawn to a vibe of a person.

8. What would you like to say to other women through this?

That no part of your body is to be ashamed of. No part of your body is, every part of your body whether you like it or not, it’s there because it’s a part of you and if you treat it right, if you treat your body parts right, they would treat you right back. They would give you a lot of pleasure whether to give you self-confidence as a person and yeah, it makes you the person that you are and even if you’re looking for someone to be, if you’re looking for a partner or anything like that, you have to embrace yourself. There’s no point, there’s no fucking point, just there’s no point trying to be someone else. Yeah.

9. How was your shoot just now?

Oh good. Yeah, it was good.

10. For the website, anything you want to share?

Oh for shoot just now?

Okay. It was a very comfortable experience. It was more comfortable than any other experience that I’ve been with, I mean I’ve been to. So, it’s, yeah it was more comfortable than I expect it. Like there’s always the sense of nervousness when I go to a shoot or like modeling we have to be nude. But this time it was like no, there was no nervousness coming here because it was for something else. It was not just for like, it was not just for being in a picture or being in a painting or something or just being a model for the sake of being a model, but it was for something else. Yeah, it’s for bigger than what it actually is. Yeah.