1. So how do you feel about being a woman?
I feel that rightfully we live in a, how do I say this? I feel that right now we live in a patriarchal society, but this was after like the organized religions where, came into the picture but before that like this society was more like female worshiping because as a woman like you are the seed of creation and it’s true for all of, for all species basically. It’s the woman that reproduces and creates life, and I feel that as a woman we have a lot of creative power, whereas the masculine is kind of like more disruptive kind of energy that you see in the world, yeah and that as a woman it’s somewhat our responsibility to heal the damage that’s already kind of existing in our lives. Yeah, next question.
I feel that right now we’re living in a patriarchy, especially in societies with larger influence of organized religions. But there was a time in history when the divine feminine was worshiped as the seat of creation, because it’s the woman that has the ability to give life. I feel that as a woman, we have a lot of creative power, and it’s up to us to create a world or a future that’s healed from the damage that’s been inflicted upon us by the patriarchy.
2. How do you feel about your vulva, vagina and genitals growing up?
I was raised in a way that told me not to have sex before marriage. When I was young, I was reading my aunt’s magazines and I was reading the sex columns, which made me really interested to know about sex. So I grew up with a healthy curiosity with sex and my vulva. At the time when I was growing up, it was the time of sexy popstars like Britney Spears etc, who were just openly putting their sexuality out there, and it became a thing that girls my generation wanted to be at that time.
They wanted to be sexy, because they wanted, like for me or kind of like ties it in together to be sexy, so that I could attract a man who have sex with me to satisfy my curiosity, but I felt like it was like the wrong, totally wrong way to approach sex. Yeah, when I first discover, when I first have sex, it was more for like conquering instead of more that pleasure because I really knew how to pleasure myself like I just kind of like curious about the experience like involving another person. Yeah, next question. Is your relation to vulva, genitals.
For me I wanted to be sexy, because firstly that’s how the media portrayed a woman’s worth, and secondly I thought that’s how I could attract men to have sex with me. When I first started having sex, I wasn’t doing it for the pleasure; I already knew how to pleasure myself, but I was doing it to “conquer” men, to see if they would be attracted to me. I was also curious to see how the experience of pleasure would be like involving another person, because the media had portrayed sex to be this amazing thing.
Now? I think it’s pretty good. With my first boyfriend, there were a few silly things I did that I have since progressed beyond: for example, I felt like I needed to shave all the time because he was into that. But now that I’m with a more mature partner, I’ve learnt to accept that pubic hair is a natural bodily function, and that you can’t expect a woman to be bald down there because she’s not a child. Now that I’m older, I’ve shed all notions of what I’m supposed to be or look like, according to some societal norm, and I’ve decide I’ll just do my own thing.
3. But what role does your genital play in your sexuality in your opinion?
I think sexuality is a very sacred topic, and when I have sex or use my vulva, it brings my focus to the present moment, where the only thing that exists is that act itself. Everything else can wait. It’s like meditation, and so sex for me now is more than just for pleasure or to satisfy some curiosity. It really is a spiritual act.
I also like the idea that our body, and our vulva especially, is a sacred temple, and it must only be entered with the utmost respect and reverence. More and more now, I see the damage that can be done to a woman, physically, emotionally or spiritually, via her vulva so I cannot stress enough the importance of having healthy boundaries around the genitals.
4. Okay, thank you, you’re so amazing. What do you wish you learn about your sexuality growing up?
I wish that I had learnt to be more fluid with my sexuality, and explore different things that turned me on, even if they fell outside my general preference. I was seeing a girl when I was 16, and while I really enjoyed her company, I didn’t feel sexually attracted to her at that time, perhaps because of my religious upbringing that frowned upon homosexuality. Sometimes I wish I had taken the time to explore that relationship sexually. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I wish had known at that time that it’s okay to have kinks, or different preferences, and I wish I had the chance to explore them earlier, because as you grow older and discover these things, unlearning a lot of things can get tedious and confusing.
Oh yeah, and also I wish that I didn’t kind of tie sexuality and self-esteem so much because, yeah, like young girls they tend to look at themselves in the mirror and if it doesn’t like look like the ideal standards of beauty then they’re like oh, I feel fat or I feel ugly and I don’t look attractive and then when you don’t feel attractive then you become this sort of like attention craving monster that like it’s a bit more aggressive and you’re kind of trying to get into a guy’s pants. Yeah, instead of just being yourself and letting your personality shine through, like you’re () too much on like your perceived sexuality to feel better about yourself which I think is super wrong. Next question, what would you like to say to other woman?
I wish that I didn’t base my self-esteem on being sexy, or following the media’s ideal standards of beauty. I wish I didn’t base my sexuality on getting into a guy’s pants. I wish I had learnt to just let my own personality shine through instead of trying to achieve this perceived idea of sexy.
I think just get out there and explore what brings you happiness, like just keep exploring it and not be confined to this path that you think you have to be on because society tells you to or you see everybody has it, so you have to, that you feel, that you might lose out, so you do things that are not really your thing, but everyone’s doing it, so yeah. Like I think a lot of women don’t get a chance to really find out who they are, they let society tell them what they want instead, which is super wrong.
Just get out there and explore what brings you happiness. Keep exploring beyond the path that you think you have to be on because society tells you to, or because you see everybody else doing it, so you think you have to have the same thing. I think a lot of women don’t get a chance to really find out who they are and they let society tell them what they want instead.
Also, as much as it is our biological function as women to reproduce, there are also many ways to express our creative energy that doesn’t involve children. Don’t let anyone tell you that having children is your end-goal as a woman. There are other things within yourself that are just waiting to be born.
And also as much as, as women we are capable of creating life, there are also other ways to express your creative energy that is not just making children. There are other things within yourself that are just waiting to be bond and yeah. Okay, yeah that’s it.